4 Lessons Children Can Learn From Location Independence
I was recently intrigued by a post written by Lexi Rodrigo called, “3 Lessons Children Can Learn From A Free Lancing Parent”. She describes how her counter cultural life has taught her children that parenthood and career can mix, that artists eat, and that presence is better than presents. All great lessons.
As a location independent parent currently traveling with our 3 daughters (ages 16, 14 and 9) the article made be think about what lessons my kids are learning from their experience. I mean, we are certainly breaking the mold of most of our friends in the U.S. by yanking them out of school and wandering the world with no pre-tested plan for how this will effect their lives, friendships, or education. I am also guilty of crossing another taboo – leaving my husband behind and going alone with the children for a year. That’s a long time to be away from Dad, for us and for him. If I met raised eyebrows about the idea of the travel, I had dropped jaws about the fact that Tony was staying behind!
We’re now starting the 8th month of our year long adventure and so far I can say it’s been an overwhelmingly positive experience. Here are some things I think my children are learning:
- Your heart doesn’t lie – follow it! - My daughters and I were all very excited to do this year of travel. Among the four of us there was no hesitancy that this was something we felt passionate about and wanted to experience. Still, we were met with many disbelieving comments and doubts that we were making a prudent move. “What about their education?” “Won’t they be behind in school?” “Won’t you miss your Dad?” “You mean you’re not going to be in our first year of highschool, miss the prom, and the freshman campout?”. These were just a few of the kinds of things we were hearing. It took a good bit of spine to listen to the doubts and still press the purchase button for that first set of airline tickets. What I believe they’ve learned in the process is that your heart doesn’t lie. If you hear your inner voice urging over and over for you to move in a certain direction – the call is most likely an important one to follow. You’re being called to follow your passion and when you do the rewards are great. Yes, we miss our friends. Yes, we miss Tony. Yes, prom would be fun. But the experiences we have had instead have been fantastic, one of a kind and irreplaceable.
- There are a lot of great ways to spend your life – when you’re living life in one community with their particular beliefs and ways of doing things it’s really easy to feel there is a “right” way to go through the process. How many of us go through life following the steps of those around us? Work hard in school, graduate, find a major in college that you are interested in but more importantly that will support you, find a mate, start a family, make sure your kids grow up “right” as well, save, retire, die. Choosing a nomadic lifestyle has meant that our kids have seen us break the mold. Not only that but they’re living in new cultures where the mold doesn’t even exist in the same shape and form. They are being exposed to many ways of going through life and they are learning that their old perceptions aren’t the only way of doing things.
- Our country is but one of many fabulous places in the world – Living in the U.S., and especially in Texas, it is easy to feel that we have the best of everything and by default must be the greatest country and people in the world. There is no better cure for this grandiose belief than to get out into the world! By living nomadically, the kids are seeing that every country has its strengths and weaknesses (including our own) and that “third world” doesn’t mean poor in spirit or culture. On the contrary, they are finding rich spirit and culture in places others may look at in pity. It is impossible to get perspective when you’re living in a small room surrounded by mirrors. I hope that by getting into the world my children will see more clearly.
- Time apart can be healthy – Being apart from family and friends can be difficult but it also raises opportunities for new ways of communicating. While we’ve been gone, my husband has gone into training for a marathon – something that was difficult for him to do when he had daily family responsibilities. We also speak every day or every other day by Skype. Strangely, I think he and the girls have more direct communication now that we did at home. Unfortunately, when we were home we had fallen into a routine of after school meal, homework, bedtime, while Tony and I tended to things like walking the dog, cleaning the house, etc. We actually didn’t have that many in depth conversations. Now we do because our conversation time is just that – time to talk. Likewise, my older girls have transformed many of their friendships to online ones and have seen new sides of people. They have even become closer online with some kids who they didn’t interact with much while at home.
Of course, these ideas are just my version of what I hope my kids are learning. If you were to ask them, they might come up with some very different ideas and probably some great ones. However, if I were to ask them I’d probably hear something like, “I don’t know! Why are you asking me? Are you going to put this in your blog?”. So – for now – you just have to hear from me. But if I were to pick one thing that I hope they’ll take from this year above all others it would be this: that the world is a huge and amazing place and that their opportunities to be an integral part of making this world better are boundless if they follow their hearts.
Photo: Melissa Maples
