A Lifestyle Designer’s Christmas Reconsidered
There is never a better way to get a new perspective on life than to step away for a while. Distance can be a great tool for gaining new insight and appreciation for things that have become mundane.
I’ve always been a big fan of Christmas. It is by far my favorite holiday of the year. I have loved almost everything about it – the decorations, sitting by the fire, drinking eggnog, reading stories about Santa to my kids, attending Christmas Eve service at our favorite church, making cookies. That said, I’m not a materialist. The one aspect of Christmas that I have never liked has been the emphasis on gift giving, advertisement or accumulation of more junk and more debt. For me it’s about the tradition, the people, and the experiences. Somehow the manic ripping open of presents until you’re swimming in paper and have no idea who gave what to whom and the hang-over feeling that happens when the last gift is finally opened takes away from the whole experience for me.
As I’ve gotten older and have put more Christmases under my belt, the years seem to speed at an ever accelerating rate so that as soon as the decorations have come down it seems we’re getting ready to put them up again. That has also taken away from some of the excitement for me.
I’ll never forget having a typical conversation with my youngest daughter when she was 3 years old. She used to love for me to go through the whole year schedule for her. It would sound something like this:
“Ok, first we have New Year’s and then Groundhog’s Day”
“Then what?”
“I guess next would be St. Patrick’s Day and Easter, then your sister Ariana’s birthday”
“Then it’s my birthday!!”
“That’s right”
So the conversation was going like this. On this particular day, here’s how it ended up.
“Then we have Thanksgiving and then Daddy’s birthday, and then Christmas”
“Christmas again? We already had Christmas!”
“Yes, well the year is like a circle and we go around and around”
“We’re going to do Christmas over and over? When do we get to die?”
Nothing like a 3 year old to put a new perspective on things. Yeah, I thought, we do it over and over. It is pretty crazy in some ways.
This year we were in Brazil for about 6 months and just left on December 10th. We watched as Christmas decorations appeared in the malls and ads appeared on television looking a lot like our ads in the U.S. The decorations also looked identical, pine boughs, holly, fake snow. Only in Brazil it all has a very surreal quality as the weather gets continually hotter and you’re looking at the fake snow in your bikini, your body sticky with sweat. But as with so many things when you’re a nomad, we watched Brazil go through its Christmas preparations without feeling we had to jump on the bandwagon. We merely observed.
We did come home to Texas for the holidays. Since we’ve been nomading without my husband, it was a good time for the family to re-connect. And since our visas ran out in Brazil and flights from Brazil to our next stop of Oaxaca were crazy expensive it all made sense to have Christmas at home. But interestingly, arriving in the U.S. mid-Christmas season has given us permission to be guests in our own country – to merely observe this time around if we like. And as an observer I have a different perspective.
What I notice is that I still love Christmas and all the traditions that come with it. However, it’s really easy to get swept into the merry-go-round of Christmas without even realizing it’s happening – going through the motions not because you’re necessarily enthusiastic about each one but because it’s what you’ve always done, what the kids expect, what the neighbors are doing, whatever might be your pressure. And when that happens you’re doing it without joy and doesn’t that defeat the purpose of the whole idea?
Lifestyle design is about making conscious choices. For me, it’s about having my life actions reflect my innermost values. Sometimes it takes getting distance from those things that we do so automatically in order to gain new perspective and re-evaluate what we want to do. Lifestyle design isn’t just about planning a fantastic future, it is about living purposefully in the present.
This year I won’t be sending cards, making cookies or buying many presents. We have decorated some but not as much as usual. We’ll probably go to church and to a party that we like. Interestingly, in return we have time – that ever ellusive thing everyone complains there is not enough of. Instead of spending time trying to find parking spots in shopping malls, addressing an endless pile of cards, or standing in line at the post office, we’re home with each other enjoying time. What a luxury.
In coming years I might decide to re-incorporate some of the things we’ve dropped this year or maybe not. But what feels good is that I’ve hopped off the merry-go-round and am getting the opportunity to re-evaluate. Next year will be different. My goal will be to pass the season with those things we feel joyful to do and to let go of all others, no matter the pressures we may feel with the tide of the Christmas machine and to once again luxuriate in time we spend together.
If you’re in a foreign country this Christmas or have other thoughts about the season I’d love to hear them in the comments. If you’re interested more in how to make goals and get of the merry-go-round of life, I’d encourage you to take a look at 6 Stages to Successfully Design Your Lifestyle.
Photo by Quadriman
