Pros and Cons of Traveling Abroad with Babies, Kids or Teens!
As many of you know, I’ve been traveling this year with our three daughters, ages 16, 15 and 9. When we first began I would have said 16, 14, and 8 but we’ve now passed two birthdays and will celebrate the third before we return home. Half of our year was spent with the girls in a private school in Florianopolis Brazil, and half homeschooling and taking supplemental classes in Oaxaca, Mexico. Overall, the girls and I have had amazing experiences, have learned a lot and had a great time.
One of the biggest pieces of learning for me has been how different it is to live abroad with a child as opposed to living abroad with teens. Often what I see written about family travel talks in a very general sense about traveling with kids but I think the differences deserve some emphasis for those of you planning to hit the road with children of different age levels. I don’t profess to be an expert but I’ll share with you some observations from our family travels over the years.
Ages 0-able to walk
First let’s look at babies before they are able to walk. That age can really vary. Our earliest walker started at 7 months but some children don’t walk until well after their first birthdays. For the traveler, however, the ability to walk is an important differentiator.
Pros
- Your child will most likely qualify for discounts or free entry almost everywhere and may even be allowed to sit with you in your airline seat, meaning a free trip for the baby.
- Unable to walk, your child will be under your full control since you will carry them everywhere. There will be no need to worry about them running off into danger or getting lost.
- If you’re breastfeeding there will be little need for carrying extra food, bottles, etc. making your traveling much simpler.
- Your child won’t have an opinion about sight seeing so you’ll still be free to wander museums, etc. without hearing that ever beloved whine – “This is boring!”
Cons
- Your child will have little awareness of your travels and therefore few to no memories of them later in life.
- Your child will sometimes experience discomfort while traveling and may be difficult to console, so be prepared for irritated people on planes, trains, wherever they may be trapped into experiencing your baby’s screaming.
- Changing an explosive diaper while on a plane, train, etc. is not a fun experience for you or anyone nearby.
- Traveling can really upset a baby’s schedule. Be prepared for night wakening, day sleeping after your arrival.
- If your baby needs medical care while away, you’ll have to trust unfamiliar doctors and medical practices.
The Walking Toddler – School Age
Once your child is walking the landscape becomes very different while on the road both for him/her and for you who must be constantly aware of where they are.
Pros
- Your child (and your pocketbook) will still enjoy many discounts and free entries.
- With the ability to walk, you won’t have to carry your child 100% of the time. Your back will get some needed rest as Junior tries out their new ability and/or enjoys seeing the sites from a stroller.
- Your child will be forming new language abilities. If you are in a foreign country, they will soak up all the new sounds of the language and with a little time could become completely fluent in a second tongue. This is an excellent time for becoming bilingual.
- If you’ve been using a bottle, that can probably be put away at this point and your child can join you in eating a variety of foods, thereby making it easier to get food along the way and not have to carry everything with you.
- If you are settling in a destination your child may be old enough to participate in local services for kids such as classes or child care settings, allowing them to experience the new culture as a native child would.
Cons
- You will still be the beast of burden for most of your child’s things. Be prepared to lug!
- Your child will still be somewhat young for having lasting memories of their travels. Photos will help them retain some of them.
- Your child will still be somewhat young for appreciating history, monuments, art, etc. They will be happier in parks, playgrounds and other kid places. If it is your goal to experience the latter, you may be frustrated with Junior’s lack of interest or downright temper tantrums at being dragged to see the Mona Lisa.
- Junior’s expert ability to walk and even run at this point will mean you’ll need to be ever vigilant to where your child is going. Crowded subway stations, points of interest and other large expanses can be stressful to navigate with a child who can quickly dart in and out of the crowd.
- If your child is to become lost or need help they will still be somewhat young for seeking help on their own or communicating their needs to strangers.
- While your kid may be full of energy at one moment, they can also quickly collapse in exhaustion. I have vivid memories of our 2 1/2 year old collapsing in a temper tantrum as we tried to change gates in Chicago O’Hare Airport. Our arms full of luggage, we were unable to scrape her off the floor as she kicked and screamed. Not a fun moment.
School Age – Adolescence
The school age child begins to think more formally and can appreciate some of the experiences that went unnoticed when they were younger.
Pros
- Your school age child will still enjoy some discounts until about age 12.
- Your child can begin to carry their own luggage within reason for their size.
- Your child may enjoy helping to plan the trip and will have opinions about where to go.
- For location independent families, school age children can live up to the term – in other words – they can attend school. This means they can be immersed completely in the new culture, language, and experiences of other children their age. If homeschooling they can enrich their travels by studying subjects pertinent to their surroundings and also find other immersion opportunities.
- They can take advantage of classes, camps, or other activities previously denied them.
- They will be able to retain memories of their experiences.
- They will be able to form relationships with peers during an age when many pastimes are universal ie. playing hide and seek, jumping rope, playing ball.
- They will be able to appreciate cultural activities such as visiting museums, listening to live music, watching dance, etc.
- They will be able to grasp foreign languages quicker than their older siblings or parents. (Take a look at Mia’s Portuguese after 3 months in Brazil)
- Because they will still be young for venturing out independently, parents will maintain some control over what activities they engage in.
Cons
- They may fall behind peers in their home country academically.
- They may experience more stress during assimilation than their younger counterparts, feel more self conscious when attempting to speak new languages or stressed by new school experiences.
- They may feel homesick at times.
- They will still be too young to venture out independently and must rely on their parents for activities outside of school.
Adolescents
The adolescent will have all the abilities of the school age child with a higher level of independence and more complex social interactions.
Pros
- Teens will be able to maneuver their own luggage, tickets, etc. and may even be able to help with family belongings while in transit.
- Teens can understand the uniqueness of their travel experience, appreciate new cultures, and place their experience within a larger world context.
- Teens will be able to enjoy some independence in places with public transportation systems or the ability to walk to activities.
- Teens will be able to choose activities that may someday pertain to their career or college choices and may even be able to engage in apprenticeships or other types of training unavailable in their home countries.
- Teens can benefit from volunteer activities while they serve others.
- Adolescents can broaden their social perspective by forming relationships with peers in the new culture.
- Adolescents can play an active role in choosing destinations and helping plan a trip.
- Teens could enrich their academic experiences with activities, learning, or formal classes unavailable to them at home.
- Teens could be leaving behind negative activities from home.
Cons
- Because adolescents often place heavy emphasis on their friendships they may experience even greater feelings of homesickness from their friends.
- It is possible that adolescents could fall academically behind their peers at a time when college applications are near.
- Teens could find transitioning to a new language more difficult than their younger peers.
- The heavier academic requirements for teens could mean a more difficult transition for those entering schools.
- Teens will be entering a new cultural environment where adolescents might be engaging in negative activities beyond what they were exposed to at home.
- Because teens can be very independent, their parents may have less ability to monitor new activities and social interactions in their destination.
- Teens will not only be navigating regular social interactions in the new environment but also grappling with choices about alcohol, drugs, and dating behaviors in a new culture where norms can be very different.
If someone were to ask me, “What’s the best age to travel with your kids?” I would honestly not have an answer for them. While I do believe that traveling with an infant is more about the parents’ wishes than anything the infant gains, there is a lot to be said for parents who continue pursuing their dreams even with a baby in their arms. And frankly, any baby who gets to spend time in their parents’ loving arms is a lucky one, no matter what continent their parents may be traversing at the moment. Children can gain from experiencing the world at almost any age even though the types of gains may come in very different forms. I am ever grateful for the travel we’ve been able to do with our children and proud of the development I’ve seen in them as a result of their experiences.
I’d love to hear about your experiences with family travel.
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It's definitely a tough decision whether to go but in the end most of the problems are in your mind and of your own creating. They have no existence in reality and you will breeze past them easily when they come around.
Good points Carmen! Things really do change with what age the child is and even on the personality of the child.
I'm doing a series of posts & eventual e-book about our extensive experience of traveling an educating our child on our open ended world tour since 2006. We have been traveling with her since she was 2 weeks old & this journey has us in 32 countries between her 5th and 9th year with no end in sight, so we've learned much along the way.
Here is our latest on how and why extended travel and education is the best possible education for the global citizens of the 21st century:
http://www.soultravelers3.com/2010/04/family-tr...
Sorry, but I do have to respectfully disagree with most of your points in the con area of school age children, as that has not been *our* experience thus far. Our child is far ahead of her age peers academically. When we went home we had her tested just to make sure that our methods were giving her the education she deserved, and she indeed was getting far more than her age peers and tested way above grade, and even at high school levels in many subjects at 7! I've never heard of anyone who did extended travel where their child was ever behind in school. With travel & the ease of carrying books today in the tiniest of spaces, there really is no reason.
None of us have felt homesick yet in 4 years, so I don't anticipate that ever happening. As Muriel Rukeyser says “THE JOURNEY IS MY HOME.”
Perhaps because you maintain a home while you travel, your experience is different about your sense of home. The world, our journey IS our home. We always feel at home no matter where we are, so we do not feel that pull back to one place. We keep up with friends and family via Skype webcams etc from our many “homes” around the world.
My daughter was happy to go to school in Spain from the very first day 4 years ago ( and each winter's return) and is also VERY excited about going to an all Mandarin Chinese school in Asia this fall. She loves to unschool, but enjoys the time with new friends in school. We do work hard at getting the languages as strong as possible before entering the school, so that does make the transition easier. She is also a very extroverted, outgoing child who adapts easily by nature. Our journey has made her even better at taking initiation towards friendships at schools & every environment with every age which I see as a real positive for life, so I have encouraged her to do it on her own.
In our small village in Spain and in safe little communities of lux RV parks we can let our daughter have a LOT more independence than what she could ever have at home. She has been going to the store by herself in several languages ( & several currencies) since she was 6. She can ride her bike, go to her lessons with a local to learn handcrafts,flamenco, ceramics or go out and climb trees to bring us our supply of avocados, citrus and flowers.
One of the cons with kids is they LOSE languages as quickly as they gain them. Languages take continual exposure & immersion, so once committed to, should be continued so one does not lose the advantage. Many kids even lose their native tongues like the UK kids here in Spain or Spanish immigrant kids in US with native speaking bilingual parents who talk English in the home. Raising fluent bilingual kid takes consistency for many YEARS.
It is going to be a great advantage in the coming world to be bilingual/bicultural, and Americans need to get more aware of this fact and proactive. Extended travel is an easy and free way to supplement this study.
“Because adolescents often place heavy emphasis on their friendships they may experience even greater feelings of homesickness from their friends.”
If a teen or child never bonds to one single group of friends in one location,but has a world view and perspective ( and now it is easy to maintain friendships world wide) this does not have to be a problem.
We haven't reached the teen years yet and I once thought we would have to settle down in one area for that time period, but now I think not.
As `I read of so many teens that pay others to travel and learn, Maya Frost launching and traveling with 4 teens without ever doing SAT's or the typical BS, debt or high costs, as I see how education continues to change & the old system even at Univ level is dying, as I read books that say skip high school and go to college, as I see the new economy not looking for your typical education that prepares one for a job in 1950, I'm more convinced than ever that nunomad/LIP style travel life sets these kids up better than anything else could.
All ages are great for travel, but the real benefits for life begin I think, when they can read well. Extended travel will give them many advantages and a superior foundation for life.
Great post, and lots of good points regarding the pros and cons of each age. Though I don't have kids myself, I've heard that traveling with teens can be almost more difficult than younger children.
I recently wrote a post for my own blog that provides lots of resources for parents considering traveling with kids. If your readers would like to check it out, it can be found here: http://kaleidoscopicwandering.com/2010/03/29/wh...
Hi Joanna,
Thanks for coming out to the blog and for the link to parent resources.
Information is always appreciated. I'm not sure I would categorize
traveling with teens as “harder” than with children – at least in my
experience – but definitely different! It's nerve wracking sometimes
waiting for them to return by bus or taxi and knowing they are navigating in
a foreign country and if something should happen it would be a nightmare.
Of course, it would be a nightmare in my home country as well but somehow in
a foreign country I feel more vulnerable.
NuNomad
Hi Jeanne,
Great to have you back again. Certainly you've got tons of experience to share about educating your child abroad after so many years of having done so both as home/unschoolers and within schools abroad. I will look forward to your work when it comes out.
While I agree with you that educating your children abroad does not mean they will necessarily fall behind, and often may excel past their peers at home, I think there is a reality that it can occur. I speak from many conversations with other U.S., Canadian and UK. parents here in Oaxaca, Mexico and in Brazil who have entered their children in schools abroad. Now, these have all been parents (like myself) who have chosen local schools (not bilingual schools or schools following an international curriculum – local schools for local kids). What they have expressed, and what has also been our experience, is that the local schools are following curriculums that while in some areas equal or exceed what their children would have done at home, in other areas are behind.
In our personal experience, my youngest daughter fell quite behind in math while in Brazil. When we returned home and she visited our Texas school we were told she would need tutoring to come up to speed with her class when she returned, both in math and in reading. I homeschooled her for 2 years prior to travel (at which point she was ahead of peers in math and equal in reading). I didn't feel there would be a problem, as I planned to catch her up after school in Mexico this spring. However, what happened was that the school she was enrolled in here in Mexico had very rigorous requirements and mountains of homework. There was absolutely no time to catch her up in the basics after the school day plus two hours of homework were completed. In addition she was being asked to create a 35 page report with Power Point oral presentation outside of her regular homework (oral presentation in a language that was new to her by the way). She became completely and understandably stressed by the work load and I became stressed knowing that we weren't catching up in the basics. At that point I decided to remove her from the school and homeschool once again. She is now catching up and I think will be fine upon our return.
My teens also fell behind in math while in Brazil. However, they are also catching up here in Mexico through homeschooling.
In other areas, they are all enriching their learning beyond what they would have had at home. The cultural classes we have found here in Mexico in the areas of dance, art and cooking have been excellent. They are also enrolled in an excellent online literature course through the University of Missouri that is beyond what our school in the U.S. would have offered and we have found good music instructors. Obviously, their language learning has also accelerated.
As for homesickness, it is true that we had deep roots in our home before our departure. My children have known most of their friends since kindergarten age and they are like extended family. We keep in touch as much as possible (certainly my teens are in a lot of contact through Facebook, MSN and Orkut) both with friends from home and from travels. The homesickness is nowhere near what it might be if we weren't together as a family and I personally experience very little. Still there are times that they miss people from home and events they wish they could attend. I think that's just natural though.
Hi Richard,
I'm not sure I'm totally following your comment but for us it was a really easy decision to go and I'm very glad we did. And yes, our mental perspective plays a big role in how we experience things.
OK ,that clarifies that perspective, thanks. As you know, there are many ways to school and learn.
Many ways to Nunomad as well & our styles are quite different. “Going back to” one home isn't part of our LIP style, but makes sense for you & I'm sure many LIP types.
I am a big believer in local schools because they are free and I think MUCH better than costly international schools. BUT, I am also a parent who does not count on any school to educate my child, because I think a parent is fully responsible whether a child is in school or not.
2 hours of homework for a 9 year old? That is ridiculous and sad.
Local schools can be a fantastic way to immerse deeply in the culture, literature & language and bond with friends for life, but that is all that we use them for. We continue to homeschool all year in English even when she is in the local school in Spanish.
So that way we do not have to worry how good or bad the school system is ,as it has always been far below her math or reading level. I figure that's just good practice and in her 2nd language.
BUT she only goes from 9 to 2 , almost never has any homework & they let us come and go as we please. Too bad you could not have found a school less rigorous.
It is not uncommon to put kids entering a new language in a grade below what they are in at home. The work is easier that way & makes up for the language challenges. If you are going back to a school at home, you can just keep up with them in English after school or on weekend if the class is easy at the local school. I'd pick easy over rigorous any day if you want a school mainly for fun, immersion & friends. If they don't have long days at school & homework they should shoot ahead in reading like most homeschooled kids because they have more time for it ( and hopefully less distractions with too many extra curric classes).
As you know, 1 on 1 math is easy to stay ahead with , we just do a few minutes a day in Singapore math ( which is the same as Singapore uses & they get the top math scores in the world!) A VERY portable way.
Tweens & teens can do most of their own learning ( self teaching) to stay ahead.
If expat & LIP parents don't buy into the old pedagogy ways & don't plan on returning to any one school, there should never be a problem of being behind. That to me is the easy way, other wise, one can do international schools or virtual schooling totally, but both of those can be very expensive and very old school, not 21st century way IMHO. Plus take up too much time.
I'm sure there are advantages & disadvantages of being with the same kids since kindergarten. My husband grew up like that, I didn't, we both prefer not doing it that way with our child. I AM glad that she had her first 5 years in one area to give her a sense of home. BUT wonder if any of that will matter in 20,30 years. Neither my husband or I are terribly close any more with people we were close with as children although we cherish the fun memories. My husband went to grammar & high school with the same kids but now only sees them maybe once a decade at a funeral or something with nothing in common but the memories and loving.
Good for you for taking this on as a single mom with 3 kids ( I know not really single, but your husband stays home so single when nunomading). That is courageous & sets a great example for your kids & gives them experiences of a lifetime & so many wonderful shared memories.
There is no one perfect way to do it & just like there are always challenges with schools at home, there will be challenges to meet on the road. Obviously you and I both think it is more than worth the effort!
I do think it is natural for kids to miss friends. Mozart is always really happy to go home or come back to Spain or go back to Barcelona, London, Verona or Vienna etc.
Hi Jeanne,
You know, I think (and hope) that all of us as parents try to do what seems best for our kids and that is always effected by our own childhood histories, what we look back upon as valuable or what we would like to change. Like your husband, I also grew up with the same kids for my entire schooling until college. But for me this is something I value very much. In fact, my oldest childhood friend I've known since we were toddlers and we are still close. Actually, did a 5 week trip to Europe with her in 2006. She and her three kids and I and my 3 kids visited her sister and 2 children. We were like a traveling daycare. In addition I have other current friends who go back almost as far. To me, it has been invaluable as an adult to have those people with whom I share such a long history (especially since I came from a very small family who are all now deceased). Without these friends there would be no one who shared this sense of history with me. It is something I very much wanted for our kids as well and actually purposely sought out a school that included all 13 years. I'm happy that our kids have friends who now share many years together with them.
However, like you, I have a great love for what the world has to offer and also feel it is important for our kids to know more about life than what their small environment can offer. I feel really blessed to be able to share this larger world with them and also to know they have deep roots somewhere. I have no idea what their perceptions will be 10 years down the road about how important either the deep roots or the world experience has been for them. I guess time will tell. But like others, I'm just muddling through, trying to make the best decisions I can given my own knowledge and experiences.
Hi Carmen,
I so agree that all parents try to do what seems best, we're all affected by our history, there are many ways to do things & many different ways that can work for different people/families/personalities. Your points make total sense to me and I'm sure many people feel the same way.
I grew up with lots of moving as many people do and for me and all my siblings it was the best possible lifestyle that really supported and enhanced our whole lives. I think it was the biggest influence that made me feel part of the world instead of one provincial community or way of thinking, so something I always wanted for my family. It made me know that I can create family, friends, community ANY where! I loved the opportunity to reinvent myself with each move and not be stuck in one “group think” identity that often happens with a community or group.
I do have many friends for over 30 years ( have connected with them on this trip), so understand that kind of special bond, but mostly we stay connected via skype or facebook etc. which is satisfying for me. I also enjoy bonding with the new people we meet or people online like you! I have cousins & siblings that share my history, but don't find that particularly significant in our relationships ( often people's memories of the past are quite different).
I think personality plays into this as well. My husband always knew he wanted to get out of his hometown where his family, like most, had been for generations. His sister & many friends are happy to stay there for the same reasons that you state. It works for them.
It wouldn't work for me, didn't for my husband & I don't think it would for my child. I think it is also the reason why 80% of Americans do not have passports or why many people live in other countries for years and never learn the language. Living outside the box is not for everyone. Had my child been born with a personality wanting a more structured life & adverse to changes, I doubt we would have made this choice. Luckily even from babyhood it was clear she thrived on novel stimulation and loved change, similar to my type, so our journey is child led in primarily.
But what is cool is that numomad/ LIP,/digital nomad living can appeal to LOTS of different approaches,so can work for a wide range of individuals who can tweak it to their personal tastes. Yours works for your family, ours for us, and so many more do it in their own unique ways. I wish more people who prefer a home base like you, would also venture off some like you do & think more will in the future. You demonstrate a great way to do it!
They don't give manuals for kids, so we all muddle our way, the best we can.
Many think kids are too young to benefit from travel,let alone extended travel, but that has not been my experience from my own childhood & as a parent. I think it is the best education, so glad you wrote about it! 
This is an excellent post – we took our daughter to the Eiffel tower when she was still in a pushchair, but she doesn't remember it, obviously, so we'll have to do it again.Now she's having much more input into the activities we do. I now know what I have to look forward to when she reaches her teens.
Thanks for the compliment. We were also in Paris when our youngest was too
young to understand the sights. Luckily we were traveling with other
families at that time and she was able to stay home and play with friends
while we saw the Eiffel Tower with our older girls. We'll have to take her
back too!
NuNomad
Thanks Jeanne,
I'm a bit late in replying. It's been a hectic weekend with our three kids going three different directions at all times. It's great to see them active and having a good time with their new Mexican friends and also great for their language learning. Anyway, thanks for your thoughtful comments. I hope to interact with you again soon!
We are now three months into our travel and having a great time. Because we have been on the road for most of the 3 months we have noticed a couple of things with our children (2.5yo and 4.5yo).
Firstly, they are now playing much better with each other. They were always really good friends, but they have become even better and closer which is definitely a positive.
On the negative side, they are finding things a bit difficult when it comes to socialising with other children. They were both very good with new people and new situations, but that has slowly changed over the past three months. My wife and I have discussed this quite a bit and we put it down to the following things.
1. Language Barrier. The language barrier for young children has caused initial problems (we haven't been in the one place long enough to really overcome the language barrier as yet).
2. Holidaying Families. The other families we have met have mostly been holidaying for a couple of weeks so they are more interested in spending time with their family rather than to spend time with new people (there have been a couple of exceptions, but again because holidaying they are gone way too soon).
3. In Malaysia & Bali where we have spent our 3 months on the road so far the western families that we have met have almost all been european (which in and of itself isn't really a problem
), but again the language barrier for the young children has limited our ability to interact.
We are finding this a serious challenge at the moment. I am a very social and out going person so we are actually finding things a little lonely on the road. Our immediate family is getting stronger and stronger, but our ability to meet new families and really enjoy the culture isn't as good as we would like.
Maybe we just aren't the friendly type. Maybe it's not the environment we are in the us as a family.
We have another 3 months of travel before we'll settle down for about 4-5 months somewhere in SE Asia.
If you are a family travelling and you want to catch up for dinner or a play in the park or want to do some joint travel for a few days please feel free to get in touch with us. Honestly we are kind of nice
Thanks for the post.
Cheers,
Colin
Thanks for your thoughtful comment, Colin. You know, each child has their own way of handling new situations. Sounds like your kids are reacting with some shyness to the language. I wonder if it might be a combination of language and behaviors that are different for them? There might be subtle behavioral differences they're picking up on as well. For instance, I noticed while in France that the children there were more physically affectionate with each other than same age peers in the states. Often the beauty of travel for young children, however, is that play is fairly universal. Most kids will dig in sand, play with balls, play chase. These are things that can often happen irrespective of language. I imagine that when you get a chance to settle for a little while your kids will begin to warm up to the surroundings and the others around them. Hope you can find a dinner/play date! Let people know where you are!
[...] recent post on the NuNomad blog talked about the pros and cons of travelling with kids at different ages. It’s an excellent post, packed with useful info for location independent [...]